Sunday 6 June: Stolen phones, $200 motorbike rides and lots of Jack Daniels in the Nam

Well, where do I start? I guess from the beginning, that's where most people do. My holiday started Friday morning with a lovely 16 mile run in Edinburgh along the cycle network and up towards Juniper Green. It was a beautiful sunny day. After my run, Gail and I took Jack for a walk and went to Hector's for lunch. We had a lovely lunch and Jack got a nice bowl of water too.

At 3.30pm my taxi arrived and it was time for my epic journey to begin. It was really hard saying goodbye to Gail and although I am on holiday, I will miss her.

My flight to London was largely uneventful, apart from the very nice steward who gave me several mini bottles of gin and a wink as I disembarked. I did, however, start reading Dean Karnenzes book about his life and ultramarathon running. It is an amazing book and reading his story and the emotions he feels through running I felt total empathy and understanding. I feel exactly the same. If books were mirrors I would have, in many ways, be looking at reflection of myself.

The flight to Bankok was long, very long and far from comfortable. For the first couple of hours I read and then I tried to fall asleep watching a film. I had a very broken few hours sleep, as I couldn't find any position that was either relaxing or comfortable. Whichever way I sat a part of me seemed to ache or dig into an arm rest. I eventually gave in and started to watch another film. I did manage to fall asleep again, but by the time we landed in Bangkok I was very tired. At Bangkok I met up with Stephen and Rob, we  had a couple of hours to kill before our final flight to Ho Chi Min City, so we did, what I am sure will be a recurrent theme on this holiday, went to a bar and had some beers and food. It was good to sit there, relax and chat and I felt, for the first time, like I was on holiday.

I managed to get a little more sleep on the flight and another beer. By the time we landed, worked our way through immigration, collected our bags I had been travelling close to 22 hours! It was close to 9pm Vietnam time and dark by the time a driver from the hotel collected us and here we got our first view of life in Ho Chi Min City.

Our car pulled out into a very busy road, which was teaming with mo-ped and motorbikes. There were hundreds of them, all different types and with anywhere between 1 and 4 people on them, sometimes whole familes would fly past the car on one mo-ped. They all wore helmets and I could see why. Driving on the roads is lethal. With so many bikes all jostling for space, weaving in and out of each other, sliding between trucks and cars, with trucks and cars largely ignoring the motorcylcist, token beeps of the horn was all the warning they got. This real life version of whacky races was all carried out at over 30mph as well. The three of us sat in our minibus watching in amazement as this scene played itself out on every street we drove through. How Stephen and I came to be on the back of one of those motorbikes several hours later I will get to in a bit.

The city itself was an awesome sight in the dark, tall buidlings covered in bright neon advertising lit up the skyline. Underneath this were streets and streets of shops, cafes, resturants and bars. Some were decked out in lavish garden furniture, on a raised balconies others less so, with plastic chairs and tables outside and a door opening straight through to the kitchen, where steam poured out of large woks and pans. The streets were almost as bustling as the roads with many, many people. There were lots of small gatherings around the doorways of the shops and cafes as people smoked, chatted and laughed. From the car it looked like an exciting city, vibrant and full of life. We all couldn't wait to go out and have a look around and experience it.

Our hotel is located a few kilometers outside the city centre on the bank of the Mekong Delta River. It is a lovely colonial house with a spa and swimming pool. We were given a nice glass of iced tea when we arrived, which was lovely and refreshing and once our rooms had been sorted we quickly got showered and changed for our night out. As it was late we decided to eat at one of the hotel's restuarants, unfortunately the Vietmanese restuarant was closed and we had to settle for Italian. The food was okay, but we all a little disappointed not to be eating something local. What was nice was that we had a candlelit table by the riverbank. Even in the dark we could see that the river was massive, every so often fishing boats would sail by. We could hear the rumble of engine noise as they approached and the onboard lighting showed them to be very traditional style south-east asian fishing boats.

After dinner we decided to go into the city. Stephen had done some research before we left home and had found a night club, aptly named Apocolypse Now, which was meant to be nice and lively. After a 10 minute taxi journey we arrived at the front door. Bright neon ligthts, another common theme, greeted us and the sound of largely western music blasted through the doorway. The place was rocking and rammed full of locals and many westerners and tourists. It was on two levels and we headed straight to the top floor where were given a table by the wall and a waiter who ferried us drink after drink. We started on lager and then quickly moved on to some very strong Jack Daniels and Coke. After several drinks we noticed that the security guard was standing very close to us and when he moved away I suddenly realised that my phone was missing from my pocket. It didn't take a genious to work out what had happened, so Stephen quickly ran after the security guard and asked if anyone had "found" a mobile phone. Sure enough the security guard produced my i phone and for a $20 dollar "reward" he was happy to retun it! Stephen had warned me that the guard was looking suspiscious and I felt an idiot, as well as a little angry, having had my phone pinched. A Jack Daniels and Coke later I was happy again.

After several more drinks Rob decided he'd had enough and left Stephen and I to go back to the hotel. Stephen and I continued to drink and then hit the dancefloor until the club closed. Outside we stumbled on a group of Westerners who told us that they knew of another venue/party which was open till late. There was about seven of us in total and we all, and I mean all, got into a taxi. Stephen was sat in the front and I was sat on top of him! It was cramped and thankfully after a short journey we ended up outside another neon fronted building. We fell out, literally, of the taxi. It was a this point that I realised that my phone was gone, again!! I checked the taxi to see if it had fallen out during the ride, I couldn't see it. It must have been pinched again!

We went in to the club, but to be honest that's a real blank and I can't remember what happened other than a few drinks and standing at the bar with Stephen. We could have been in there hours, but I simply don't remember. We left at some point.

I am not entirely sure what happened next, but somehow and neither of us are entirely sure how, we ended up on the back of a motorbike been driven by a local. I think we asked him to take us to another club or party, as after a short ride we pulled up outside a closed buidling door with no neon sign. It didn't look like a club! The local called out and the door opened and we were ushered in side, it was at this point we realised we had arrived at our first Vietmanese brothel! Oh dear. We quickly explained that there had been a missunderstanding and that we wanted a bar or nightclub. Our guide took us back out the building and at this point we decided to just head back to the hotel. We gave our driver the card for the hotel and asked him to take us there, he agreed.

What followed was one of the most hillarious, funny and probably dangerous trips I have ever taken. Stephen and I were both riding on the back of a rather small but poweful motorbike been driven by a local through all the extreme traffic of Ho Chi Min that I mentioned earlier. From somewhere we'd found a bottle of beer each too, so we weren't even holding on properly! Our driver took us all over the city and even on the motorway. I remember a very close encounter with a large truck. I am not sure how long we were on the bike for or where we went, I know we got lost several times and it was dark when we started on the bike and light when we got off it. We also managed to take a few photos while on the back of the bike. I am amazed that we both didn't come off the bike and split our heads open on the road.

Eventually we arrived at the hotel to be told by our driver that we owed him $200! We argued, we tried to negotiate, Stephen shouted a bit, the hotel staff looked on bemused, I lay drunk on a sofa, but evenutally we paid up.

Finally we paid a visit to Rob's room to wake him up. He wasn't amused, so Stephen and I went back to his and had a fight with the food from the mini bar. I did eat his Oreo cookies, I only remember this, because I still had half of one in my mouth when I woke in the morning and the other half smeared over my face!

That was day one in the Nam! Quite an advenutre. Today has been spent by the poolside of the hotel, relaxing and eating a club sandwhich. We're off back into the city tonight, hopefully the carnage level won't be so high tonight!